Take a step
by SatisfactoryInfluence
Summary: Life goes on, but it's hard. LV, KV


Title: Take a Step  
Author: Jenna  
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica, Keith/Veronica  
Word Count: 1257  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Written for Vmlyricfic More Cowbell challenge. It's different from how I usually write but I hope you enjoy it. Leave me some lovin, because I sure do love feedback

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer - I don't own them.

--

Take a step. Even though you haven't since it happened. You haven't really moved since it happened. Sometimes you wish you couldn't breathe but his hand in yours makes it seem a little bit better then it actually is.

He sits with you sometimes and even though you don't talk, it makes you feel better. He's one of the two most important things to you. The other important thing is already gone.

-

It's the day, and you have to go. You see a sea of people dressed in black. You sit at the back, wondering if this is how it should be. Is this how you would've wanted it? Instead of answering the question you keep asking yourself, you cry. Tears slowly fall down your face at first, until your bawling.

He puts his arms around you and you cry even harder. Your head goes into his chest and he holds you tight. You stay like that until you realize that everyone is leaving, and you have to follow.

This was the hardest part. The final goodbye is always the hardest part. You sob as the wooden box gets lowered into the ground and you. People throw flowers in and then it's your turn. You don't know what to do, or how to react. To you it's still just a dream, except you know the dream is a reality and that makes it so much worse.

All you can do is cry. You manage to whisper a few I love you's and I'll miss you's but the rest is overcome by loud sobs.

You fall to the ground. It can't be over.

-

You don't even realize being taken back to your place. You don't want to be there, you've lived there for so long that you can't imagine being there alone.

He's with you of course; he's always there. Without him you would be more nothing then you already are.

You decide you want to clean the house.

You start with your room; the closet is full of crap. If any other person saw it, they'd think you were a packrat. Anyone that knew you would think you were sentimental, even though you didn't always show it.

That's the thing; there are very few people that really know you. He was one of them, and now that he's gone the number of people you truly care about has decreased.

To one.

It's too early to try and clean everything out.

-

You try again, and it goes better this time. You clean out old clothes, pointless knick-knacks and mismatched socks.

Then you see it. Something you hadn't seen in so long. Something that sets off a trigger in your head.

You crawl towards the back of the closet to get it; it's still as soft as it was when you got it.

'Cabaret:

I'll sing a peppy, jazzy tune  
Outside under the big full moon  
You'll hear the shouts from all my fans  
As they bang on their pots and pans! "

A beanie baby cat. A real cute one too, it's all pink and black. You remember he bought it because of the name, it was a joke about something but you're too out of it to remember what the joke was.

The only thing you can remember was the day he gave it to you. It was a real sentimental gift. The card with it said something like 'You'll always be my baby.' You can't remember the exact words on the card but that was something along the lines of it.

You start to cry again, you're surprised your eyes have anything left in them. He comes in, even though he's been trying his best to give you space. You let him hold you again, you're convinced you've made an imprint in his body with all of the holding he's been doing.

-

You promise yourself you won't resort to drinking because he wouldn't have wanted that. Instead you take another route. You take up too many hobbies and use the stress as an excuse to cry in front of others.

You've made it a routine, and he's the only one that knows it.

You go out and do Yoga, Cooking Class and whatever else you've got yourself into. Then you go back to a place that only kills you a little more inside each time you walk through the door.

He's always there waiting. You let him hold you, you eat a little bit, and you go back to your room to look at the beanie baby cat that's sitting in the middle of your bed.

Sometimes you're afraid to touch it, other times it's all you can do to remember the good times you had together.

You spend hours trying to figure out why he bought it for you, what the joke was. Then you think that there might not have been a joke at all.

Then you cry.

-

You think he might be getting sick of you, always crying, always grieving. Yet, every time you go home he's there with another one of your favorite dishes.

He tells you he has to go away for the weekend, and he asks you if you want to come. When you say no he begs you to change your mind. He doesn't want to leave you alone.

You tell him you just want some time to be alone, to grieve. You tell him you won't do anything stupid and he caves. He doesn't want to overcrowd you, not at a time like this.

You're left all alone in the empty apartment and you suddenly regret not going with him because any feeling could be better then this one.

You suddenly feel like you don't belong here anymore, like nothing could ever take this empty pit out of your stomach if you were stuck in this place.

So you decide to leave.

-

It's hard to fit all your memories into a duffle bag. So you decide to take your clothes and your beanie baby. That's all you really need.

You take a step outside and get into your car; you're going to take a train to wherever your going, if you ever chose a destination.

You drive to the train station and stand in front of the departures board. You can't pick a place so you just stand there. Standing in a big train station is bigger then sitting in an empty apartment.

You pick a place, Delaware. You figure it can't possibly remind you of him and it's the perfect place to get away to.

You turn around to go to the escalator and he's there. His train was supposed to leave hours ago.

He either didn't go, decided to come back, or knew you were going to try and make a run for it. As you stare into his eyes you remember what the card said.

'Who's you're daddy?'

Sure it's nothing close to you'll always be my baby, you don't have a clue why you thought that was it. Your dad was a kidder and he always said who's your daddy.

After you remember you kind of feel better. Maybe it's because you'll never forget him, or maybe it's because Logan is standing in the train station, making sure you won't leave him.

And although it won't be good for a long time, because your dad has died and you feel you can't live without him.

Maybe things won't be as bad as you're making them out to be.


End file.
